Monday, July 21, 2008

Emptiness vs. Hollowness

...The music plays her own chords and I feel like only just another note on the tablature...These midnights come in chilly and windy shades. Another new year rushed in as the last one slipped by. What do we have to put on the table... and those that we do have, do they pump some meaning into our existance?
We do the fancy gig, play the 'got ja answer' jig, walk the 'made man' walk, see the 'been there, done it, seen it' view...the 'experienced' soul....maybe some of us are, but somehow it makes one feel more like a juvenile. Is it as they say, 'confused are the wise'.
...what makes me feel strange is this that sometimes even when one is at peace, as peaceful as any man alive could be, without any exaggeration, we experience this inexplicable hollowness inside. Its not an emptiness...but a hollowness. Passing through my own phases of life, I have come to realise the difference between emptiness and hollowness of the ‘self’ now. If one were to put it into words as efficiently as he could, it would be something like this I guess...An 'emptiness' is the feeling of something missing, the realisation that something needs to be added so that you feel whole. A 'hollowness' is the feeling of a void. Contrary to the feeling of 'emptiness', it doesn't signify the need of something external to be added. All the parts are there on the tray, rather, its the failure to realise the significance of a particular element which incidentally already exists, a failure to realise the significance of a part in relation to the whole. And many of us feel this hollowness inside so deeply. Whether we do to interpret it as such or not is something else. Whether we are able to interpret it is also something else.
Every man is born innocent, meaning that he does not have the ability to delve into the complexities of such feelings. 'Innocent' is a graceful way of saying deaf, dumb and blind in a beautiful way. Then he jumps up to understand the definition of 'whole'...then he strays to loose this 'whole'...then he whimpers in solitude as the 'emptiness' gnaws at him so painfully...then he runs away to some distant land and there tries to gather the scattered pieces to fill this 'emptiness' in estrangement. Then if he is able to do it, he again jumps up as he forms the 'whole'. Then he realises the definition of 'whole'. This is the most beautiful phase that is experienced. He sings songs about it, preaches it, practices it...on the whole, a 'whole' man. Suddenly, he feels not as 'whole' as a ‘whole existance’ should feel. Then he jumps up to understand the definition of 'hollowness'... Very few ever reach to this level of realisation. But when and if ever this phase is crossed over, it is then that he has 'transcended' himself and it is the beginning of his journey to the horizon…
...and so, a hollow man I be for tonight...

4 comments:

_-*Kristen*-_ said...

I love your writing. It has meaning to it. I wish I could write like this acatually. Good job! I will keep reading

Obaid. said...

Thanks so much. Sure will be writing more. Please do keep reading.

Mahesh Sankhala said...

Its really good to read. Its like something i was feeling but finding the words to explain. You gave those words.

Obaid. said...

Thanks @Mahesh. But the sad part is that i havent been able to write much. In fact most of the posts on this blog were actually scribbled during my early college days